Mom on Ball Games

Mom didn’t like ball games as a child. She and I were on the way back home from the grocery store –because of massive construction we went to the one in the Valley- and she and I were talking about ball games.

She told me that ball games had always confused her; first of all when you got the ball you were told to share the ball, you throw it to some people and hope they throw it back and then you throw it back to them!

She said that she would just get the ball and run; “It’s my ball! You can’t have it!”

I told her that she was a lot like Gollum from Lord of the Rings… she didn’t deny it.

Then she talked about the rules of ball games one that came up was soccer; you get the ball and you have to kick it to other people and you can’t touch it with your hands but you could hit it with your head.

Poor mom was very confused as a child.

One thing you have to understand about my mom is that she’s a villain in a spoof; I’m sure of it. Her theme song is the Attacking Monkeys Song from wizard of Oz. She needs a big cane to thwack people on the head with and yell at them, “NO! DO IT AGAIN!!! AND AGAIN!”

No wonder I’m such a weirdo… my mom is a Mad Scientist… she even looks the part.

I pity my children. She was my mom but she’s going to be their Grandma... poor things.